LUV IS LIVE

Last night I launched LUV. I waited until my family was all in bed and took a seat in my office, breathed out the annoying day that I had, and pressed the preview/launch button, then the little green go live button. I thought going live with my project, would hold a little more ceremony than it actually did. I was too nervous and tired, and in true me style I pressed the launch button, took a quick snap shot of the confetti and the congratulations banner displayed on the screen from Patreon, then I promptly shut down the computer, turned off my phone and crawled into bed. I make these decisions to do something besides wifeing, mothering and being a receptionist and then I freak out. Much the same as when I decided over a couple of bottles of wine and encouragement from my best friend that I would sign up for a degree on line. Sounds exciting in theory when my brain was swimming in Merlot to study writing and publishing. Then when the unit went live and I actually had to start the work, the assignments and exams and I completely freaked out. Honestly, I couldn’t answer my phone when said friend called me that day, my kids had toasted sandwiches for dinner, while I stared at the computer screen with the unit outline on the screen and wanted to vomit.

This morning I got up and knew I need to get on here and write a post to say that I have gone live and want everyone to share my campaign and read the interviews that I have done and will be posting. Still slightly freaking out though, so did the school run, got a haircut, cleaned my kids rooms, washed, vacuumed and now have left it to the last minute before I get ready for work. Don’t get me wrong I am very excited about this project and I love every woman that I have interviewed and am so looking forward to the interviews scheduled for the next few weeks. I am just a nervous nelly and need to just feel the newness and the terrifying feeling of this new project. I watched a Youtube video of Oprah on Sunday. She was talking about making decisions to move forward and make positive change and influence to the world and your life, she kept referring to our internal GPS. To always check in with yourself and see what your internal GPS is telling you. That sometimes you won’t listen to it and take the wrong turn but ultimately you will end at your destination. To accept the fear and feel it and if you are causing no harm and progressing then learn from the mistakes, and let them make you stronger.

So in my mind I have two references for my internal GPS. We went away on the weekend and the weekend involved four wheel driving through sand tracks that lead to a beach access so we would eventually end up driving on the beach. Our GPS took us on the completely wrong track, there were huge ruts in the sand, not another car in sight, there were logs to drive over and branches reaching out over the track that scratched our car. All of this ended with the beach in sight but we had to make it down a near vertical sand dune, with a water hole at the bottom. I cried, I wanted to vomit, I had to direct my husband down the vertical dune, I could barely speak with fear that he would meet a sandy death, in our four wheel drive. We then had to be pulled out of the water by the local ranger, who was kind and generous and had a laugh about our predicament. He was horrified when I asked him how much the fine would be. “No way, I won’t fine you this is the fun part of the job”.

The other reference is when I check my GPS to see how long my run to work will be and it always gets me there on time and in the least amount of traffic. So easy, stress free.

I don’t have any of these feelings with launching LUV, I am running somewhere in the middle of both of these at the moment. Freaking out and excited.

So please share the link to my Patreon page, like my Instagram

 

LUV

Good morning. A really quick post (my husband is taking me out for lunch before I start work at 2.00pm) BUT I wanted to let everyone know how BUSY I have been on the project that I wrote about a couple of posts back. (I will still be writing on this blog about all of the usual things I write about.)

SO I have come up with a name LUV which stands for luv ur voice. Giving voice to every womans story.

What is the spirit behind LUV! Well, women’s stories are so important. Sharing in women’s stories creates a sense of community, a sisterhood, women come to recognise their own value, and our narratives display our differences and our similarities. It’s a recording of female history. Healing and understanding occur from voicing our experiences, we can see ourselves reflected in others. Reading other female experiences helps us to see our own potential, it builds feminine identity and shows us how other women live their female life. To show, that we are interested in reading about women who open their heart and share. To prove that people are willing to pay for beauty to be created. To share the luv.

Sitting a cricket training, writing invite letters

I have also been busy setting up an email account for the project luvurvoiceproject@gmail.com there is also a brand new Instagram account @luvurvoice (FOLLOW ME) this account will be purely for the project. It will show a small amount of behind the scenes and also let everyone know who I am interviewing. I have sent out 6 letters of invitation to be interviewed with three that came back and said YES, and one said to contact her in a few months. I have set up a photographer to take some photos (my lovely next door neighbour, who is great behind the camera and a young, female, University student who is studying music.) I have been and seen my lovely kineseologist who worked with me on all of my insecurities and confidence issues. I have been working on my Patreon site and have set up the background information.

Writing out the rewards on Patreon

 

On Monday, I cut up little pieces of paper and put them in one of the 1239495397592737230222 hats that litter my house and pulled out the number 21. SO on the 21^st of August I will be launching the Patreon site. I was kind of hoping for a bit more time, but that is the luck of the draw.  (Literally seen as I drew the number out of a hat.)

LAUNCH DAY

 

Have a great weekend and will keep you updated on the progress .

Mothering teenage boys is a puzzle.

I want to write today about being a mum to a teenage boy.

My first born was 15 a few weeks ago, and, I feel the same way I did on his first birthday. On his first birthday I cried, and held him all day. It was a multi layered cry, on one level I was relieved that we had barely survived the first year, he was growing out of the baby stage. I wept harder though, when I thought about how he wasn’t the baby anymore, that my arms would get lighter from here on out. I cried in celebration because it was our day, his birthday, and my birthing day.

This year on his 15^th birthday I cried. I cried because our relationship is evolving and my arms and heart are aching for my little boy that always wanted my attention, that little boy love for his mumma. I would stand for hours watching him bowl a ball. Now he goes out into the yard on his own to practice cricket. For the little boy that would always yell out to me, just so he knew where I was at all times. For the little boy that would cuddle me just because he wanted to, now I have to place his arms around my neck. He is moving out into the world and doing things that he doesn’t need me for. He organised work experience with Queensland Cricket at Albion, which meant he had to catch two trains to get there and then walk to the fields. He was completely confident and excited to be doing this on his own. My husband and I took him the first two days and he was mortified. The third day, I sat drinking endless coffee, in my back yard staring at my phone waiting for him to call me; when he changed trains, when he arrived at Albion station, when he clocked on at work. I was more worried on that day than the day I sent him off to school. At school, the staff have to care about the students, keep them safe. Putting him on a public train, and off to work in the big wide world, where no one really cares, was scary. He was totally fine and completely nailed his work experience – the whole experience, not just the work part. But getting ready, arriving on time, being responsible.

Date day. (I look impressed don’t I)

 

He also has a girlfriend who he wants to spend more and more time with. This is honest to god killing me. I want my little family with me at all times when I have the weekend off (which is not often). He is now wanting to go and watch her play sport and spend weekends with her. Last weekend they had a “date day”. He watched her play sport and then her family dropped them at a local beach town. My boy took his girl for lunch at a burger restaurant, splurged on ice cream, and they hung out on the beach. I actually had tears in my eyes talking to my husband about this situation. The conversations in our house are now revolving around not blowing allllllll of your money that you work for, on a girl. This conversation does not go down well. This also hurts my heart because I want to be supportive, but, am finding this teenage, first love situation stressful, and hard to navigate so that I don’t look like the bitchy mum.

The no secret rule in our house is one we have preached since we tied the knot. We always try to be open and honest in an age appropriate way with the boys. At the moment that includes lots of talk about how to treat a girl, how to be respectful. We have had the; having babies at your age will completely ruin your life conversation. We have been focussing a lot on talking to him about choices and the wrong ones will send you in a down ward spiral, how at this point in your life the world is your oyster. This was cemented last week when my boy and I had to meet at the school to decide his “pathway” through the next two years at school. My husband has been spending a lot of time with him, and his brother fishing in their little boat, surfing, riding skate boards, and mountain bikes, and four wheel driving, re-enforcing in his soul that we are always here for him, and that there is always opportunity for conversation when hanging out with dad. I feel a bit left out at the moment with all of the boy activity going on. There is a definite shifting, I feel like we are puzzle pieces that haven’t clicked into place yet, that we know we belong together, but just have to find our place. I do feel like I am grieving for the little boy days, when my husband and I were the only important people in his orbit. When the most important thing I was teaching him was how to brush his teeth or that a banana is a better choice than a chocolate.

As I sit here writing this my boy is on school survival camp. We are old pro’s at school camp, Montessori kids start going to camp in prep (prep camp is a one night sleep over at the school). This year is different again as I feel like this is a big test for him, with choices that he makes and how he behaves on camp. I am missing him a lot more than usual. And my advice to him when he got out of the car was

“Love you, have fun, learn lots, try and stay warm, don’t get any one pregnant.”

Him “OH MY GOD…MUM!!!”